“Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false.” – Gollum from the film “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” adapted from the J.R.R. Tolkein book, “The Two Towers”

Y’all been noticing all these Democrats sneaking around, posing as Republicans, and getting elected to statewide offices?

You know who I am talking about. There’s ummmm … that guy. Also, you have to remember, uh, ol’ fella. And don’t even get me started on … what’s her name, again?

Those who know me well may know my attempts to recall people’s names usually go like something similar to the previous sentences. I promise it is just for rhetorical effect this time.

Still, I am being told Democrats voting in the Republican primaries is a major problem in our state.

U.S. Sen. Tommy Tuberville, the likely Republican nominee for Alabama governor, is quoted by AL.com’s Mike Cason on the topic saying, “I have spoken with Speaker (of the Alabama House of Representatives Nathaniel) Ledbetter, and we agree that we have to do something about Democrats voting in our primary elections.”

Do we? Who are Democrats electing? Is Joe Reed planning to throw on some Groucho Marx glasses to vote a Republican ballot this year?

Of course that’s silly, but it is not any sillier than the idea that Democrats are affecting the outcome of Republican races.

Tuberville wants to change Alabama’s open primary system.

When you go to vote on May 19, you will only be voting for the candidates you would like to see represent either the Republican Party or the Democratic Party in the November general election. You cannot vote for candidates in both parties, and yet you also do not have to declare in advance in which party’s primary you would like to vote.

What Tuberville appears to support is a closed primary system. This would require you to declare to your county registrar that you are affiliated with a political party weeks, or possibly months, before the primary.

If you do not declare a party, you can only vote in the November election. There are some minor variations in how a closed primary could work, but this is the general idea.

My beef with the idea is it is a solution looking for a problem. Tuberville is correct in that there are some people who might identify more with Democrats who vote in the Republican primary.

However, many more primary voters do not identify strongly with either party. More people vote in the Republican Party primary because it has the most races that are competitive. Those people who strongly identify as Democrat still vote in the Democratic primary.

Tuberville prefers the closed primary because, should he be elected governor, it would provide him more influence over whom the party selects.

Why? A smaller voter pool made up of people who strongly identify with the party would allow his preferences – either through a public endorsement or, as is more often the case in Alabama, through behind-the-scenes maneuvering – to carry more weight since he would be the most high-profile Republican in the state.

Candidates in a variety of races would be more likely to see value in doing what is required to gain his favor.

But looking at this from a big-picture point of view, the open primary we now use likely benefits Republicans because it produces the candidate who is appealing to the most voters and not just to party insiders. The goal for any party is to win in November, not to promote the candidate who can best shmooze political party leaders.

Furthermore, party leaders already have the ability to kick candidates off the ticket who may not be Republican enough anyway.

In fact, it did so last month when it removed Opelika resident Dean Odle from the lieutenant governor’s race because Odle mounted a write-in campaign for governor after losing in the Republican primary in 2022.

1819 News reported two Republican candidates for the Alabama Legislature were also removed for past work with Democrats.

There is a way to change the primary system for the better, though. Under a top-two system, no one has to register by party to vote in the primary because all candidates are listed on the primary ballot, regardless of party.

The top two vote getters in each race advance to face each other in the general election in November. If they both happen to be Republicans, it makes no difference.

Having the parties adapt to the people’s preferences instead of the other way around seems like the way this whole democracy thing should work, right?