“Inconceivable!” – Wallace Shawn as Vizzini the Sicilian in the film “The Princess Bride”

The two prominent collegiate football squads of our college football-crazy state both squared off against top-10-ranked opponents last weekend.

I would have never thought any news story outside of nuclear war breaking out – and even the article on the impending nuclear winter might have the headline with smaller print – would be able to dislodge the state’s attention from such an important football weekend for both teams.

Yet Auburn basketball coach Bruce Pearl’s retirement announcement was somehow able to do just that. Impossible feats like this are not unusual for Pearl, however.

Take note of these impractical achievements. Exhibit A is there are few people in the world who should be more of a fish out of water than Pearl based on his background.

Pearl is a proud Jewish man born into a Jewish family in Sharon, Massachusetts, on the outskirts of Boston. The number of common life experiences he shares with Bubba from Podunk, Ala., can probably be counted on one hand.

Nevertheless, his head coaching stops include places like Evansville, Ind.; Knoxville, Tenn.; and, finally, Auburn. Probably is mighty difficult to find authentic New England clam chowder, much less matzah ball soup, at any of these locales. Still, he and his basketball programs thrived at each stop.

Second, consider that Pearl obviously loves the game of basketball, but, oddly enough, he never played a minute of high school varsity basketball. A 2008 article from Massachusetts newspaper the Patriot-Ledger states that a serious knee-injury in Pearl’s freshman year of high school ended his participation in most sports.

Despite this setback Pearl continued to be involved in the game he loved, serving as a team manager in both high school and at Boston College, soaking in basketball knowledge wherever he could find it.

In what should be a surprise to no one, his high school classmates remember him as a big personality always looking for a laugh. The Patriot-Ledger article shows a picture of Pearl’s high school senior portrait with the future coach sporting an impressive Afro hairstyle.

He even famously filled in as Boston College’s Eddie the Eagle mascot for one game when the usual mascot fell ill.

Next, chew on Pearl’s success despite never serving as a head coach at any university considered to be a basketball powerhouse. Having watched more Auburn basketball games than I probably should admit, I can confirm Auburn basketball was in a state of disrepair when Pearl arrived.

Several years before Pearl’s tenure, I can distinctly remember trying to watch Auburn play in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament while television coverage of the game was being interrupted every few minutes by special news reports on Operation Iraqi Freedom as American troops swept into Iraq. That was 2003.

Auburn would not participate in March Madness again until Pearl got his team there in 2018. The following year his team broke through to the Final Four, a feat only dreamed about in the state of Alabama when it came to men’s basketball.

Finally, think about how Pearl may be the only men’s basketball coach at Auburn to retire from the job completely on his own terms, at least in modern times.

Auburn’s second winningest coach, Joel Eaves, left coaching in 1963 – his final season as a coach – but went on to serve as athletic director at the University of Georgia for well over a decade. Most other coaches either left for other jobs or were shoved out the door for failing to meet expectations.

Pearl leaves on a high note as his last team won the SEC regular season championship, made another Final Four, and started The Sporting News National Player of the Year winner, Johni Broome.

Also, last season he passed Eaves in wins at Auburn to become the winningest coach in Auburn’s men’s basketball history and was named Division I college coach of the year by the AP and the National Association of Basketball Coaches.

Frankly, none of this should have worked. I hear athletic directors say all the time how important it is for them to find the right fit when it comes to hiring coaches. Pearl was the squarest of pegs in the roundest of holes.

But it did work. Pearl is the one guy in an ocean full of coaches who can adapt, overcome and achieve the impossible several times over. I don’t know his future plans, but whatever they are, I would not bet against him – unless his plans are to sit still and be quiet.